The Butthurt Serenade

The Butthurt Serenade

Oh week…how many times can you butthurt me? Let me count the ways…

One is for the death of Dennis’s best friend, a long-time mate.
Two is for money coming through late,
Three is a kitten adoption, gone before my eyes,
And four the dental appointment, which I always DESPISE.
Five are the stories that woke me up at three-quarters past two,
Insisting I write them. I need to sleep for work, I say. They said FUCK YOU.
So here I am at home, sick, dizzy and tired.
Please don’t let the boss find out and say, “Buddy you’re FIRED”.

Footnote – go away, comic Sombra, oh and tell your artist that the word “personal” is spelled, “p-e-r-s-o-n-a-l”. He/she/it’s a tool who needs to go back to school and pass their spelling course this time. BTW, I DO take it “personally”, thank you very much. I’ve been working my arse off on this website and in your service since Christmas and I know you’re a slave driver and all, but I thought at least if I slept with you, you’d cut me some slack!

Oh and you can tell your SEO keyword monkeys to go POUND SAND and throw it at each other. I don’t need them telling me, “The text contains 212 words. This is below the recommended minimum of 300 words. Add more content that is relevant for the topic.” Yeh? You try adding more content in a friggin’ haiku, poem, whateverthefuck this thing is. If I wanted corporate conformity I would have headed off to work today despite feeling I couldn’t walk two feet without falling on my face from sleep-deprivation and taken a hit for team who, btw, asked me to call them with as much notice possible, then had the balls to say to my face (or my ear), “This is too short a notice (I was awake 15 minutes, then called them.)  And the ultimate INSANE piece of drivel they expected me to swallow – “We don’t have anyone to go in.” BULLSHIT. You literally have THOUSANDS of caregivers throughout Southern California. You are SO LARGE you can STILL offer health coverage even though it is no longer mandatory since the Great and Powerful Trump squashed Obamacare like the purile piece of shit it was.

One more thing, SEO retards…382 words. BEND OVER.